Hey everyone, remember when I said that I wanted to post at least once a week?
Yeah, me too.
That did not hold true last week, but that's okay. Life happens and quite honestly, I was so busy that I really did not have any time to sit down and write something I'd actually like.
So many new events did happen last week though and will be the reason for this post tonight.
Starting off, I met some interesting people this past week. I guess that's what you get for working seven days in a row. It was so cool getting to meet them and hear their stories. At the end of the day, that is what makes me the happiest. Where I feel most at home. But there was one question that really stuck with me.
"Who do you want to be?"
That stopped me in my tracks immediately because I was so used to the materialistic idea of what I want to be. In those moments, it was as if I lived my life in a series of seconds. Learning each lesson one by one. At first, I thought about happiness, but with happiness, there has to be the duality of sadness. Moving forward, I told him about how I want to be a voice for others. I want to meet people of all cultures and learn their stories. Now thinking about it, I want to change, and that means there will never be a specific someone I want to be other than a better version of myself.
It because of those conversations that give me life. An oldie, but it is so much better to have tried and lost, than to have never tried at all. The mistakes and risk of opportunity will always outweigh over the risk of loss. At least for my brain. My thought process is not for everyone, but I definitely am liking who I am turning out as a person who will never know anything for certain.
From work, I also learned to always set someone else up for success, no matter how tired you may be. I have been retraining my brain to put effort into life again. Even if it's just for five minutes, it is important to take care of myself and my spaces.
Moving onto a separate note, I had a conversation with a becoming friend. We were discussing some of what we're looking for in life, and in love. I have been thinking about this more and more lately, but I realized I am starting to yearn more and more for connections rather than passionate romantic love. Back in October, I wrote about love and how I did not know my own love. That love for me was just a phrase, not a movement or a feeling. And if I did not know what my own love was, how could I love others? This past year has been for me to realize that what gives most people life and joy does not have the same effect for me. Any of my past experiences included the infatuation with the materialistic part of myself. I know that I am so much more than my outside, and I have known that since I was young. Being perceived for other than what I have to offer with my mind and thoughts, which don't shut up by the way, has made me question why I am doing things the way I do.
As I grow further into this new year, I am hoping to build more connections with people. To not only prove to myself that I am worth more than my body, but to know even more why my dad fell in love with life, even when the materialistic part was taken away from him.
Quote of the week: "The goal isn't to live forever. The goal is to create something that will."
Until next time,
a hopeful/less stranger
6:44pm
01.23.2024
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