I think as I've grown up, I realized that I really did try to live. At one point, I even made it a priority to live that 'main character lifestyle.' The playlists, the bucket list items, and overall, just the aspirations I had. Except, as I've gotten older, it doesn't exist. At least, not in the way that we showcase it to the world. I think we romanticize a main character life so much, but most of the time, we are only shown the most exciting moments. I honestly believe that there are very few people who consistently live those lives. I've encountered it a few times, but again, I haven't been shown their deepest darkest moments.
I don't know how many times I contradicted myself in that paragraph, but those are my true raw thoughts.
Oh well.
Growing up, I spent so much time trying to make my life interesting. Into a movie, per say. I mean, I actually kind of did. I've been filming myself for years. Updating myself on my life at the time, making videos to the trends. I mean, I still do film myself. I think for someone who forgets what happens in their life so much, it's so important for me to document. I forget events in my life, but most importantly, I tend to forget my progress as well. This time, I can't. I can't afford forgetting. Life has become so precious to me that I need to remember. To remind myself that this episode won't last forever. I've met so many amazing people in these last few years. I am so so grateful to have them in my life. In this last year and a half, most specifically, I've learned to take on a new role.
Narrator.
I think this role suits me best. I love the idea of watching those around me. So enveloped in their own stories, and sometimes, I get the chance to write them. People lead such interesting lives. Especially because they're uniquely their own. No one lives the same exact life. They are similarities, but there will always be something that makes you tick that doesn't others. I have had the amazing opportunity to meet and explore people's lives. Even if it's only a snippet. I wouldn't trade their stories for anything else. Those are my treasures. My own souvenirs.
Being the narrator gives me the chance to write about others, but most importantly, I get to write my own story too. No one else will write my story for me. I choose which path I go, and I choose when chapters deserve to end. When writing others' stories, the main thing I get to do is read them. I get the lovely chance to gain perspective and make mine the best it could possibly be.
I think that's it for now. I will definitely be writing soon.
Until next time,
A Hopeful/less Stranger
10:36pm
08/22/2022
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