It is perfectly okay to be an inconvenience.
What I mean by this is that you shouldn't have to compromise your values to make it easier for anyone else. This is advice that I so desperately need to hear.
I have spent so much time accommodating myself for others to not be seen as a problem. My values weren't as important as theirs in my head. I fully stopped supporting and validating myself. It was with menial things, and then all of a sudden, it became my aspirations as well.
I have been on this journey of loving myself for so long now. Learning myself, loving my flaws, and battling my mental challenges and recovering from the harsh spells. I have spent so much time working on all of these things just for me to regress my progress with mindsets like these. I spoke about this issue before in my writings, but I hadn't published it on here, but I talked about I spent so much time removing labels on myself that I lost who I was completely. So, if I lost myself completely, why do I continue to incorporate the ideas that promote this constantly?
I honestly don't know. At first, I thought this was merely a self-discipline issue, but I realized that this goes deeper from my life. The majority of my life, I had to constantly be aware of other people and their problems. Being the role model to foster kids for over 13 years will do that. I always had to be the perfect child, and that killed who I was in a way. Because I could never have the opportunity to grow and explore my morals and values.
But now's the time. Time to unlearn that it's not okay to be an inconvenience. To learn to find values that can't be compromised, and that it's okay.
Until next time,
a hopeful/less stranger
9:33am
10/16/2022
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