Three full days. That's all I have left until it marks the finish of my freshman year of college. As much as I have felt that my life has been rushed or gone too slow, the stage of my life that I am in, it feels right. Currently, I am relishing in the last hour I have left of a sunny spring day here in Maine. Today has been absolutely gorgeous and my feelings reflect that. It is crazy to think that a year ago, I was absolutely exhausted and so ready to graduate and leave the people who were no longer needed in my life anymore. Life felt like a waiting game, and I couldn't speed up the process.
I have gone MIA for the past month, stuck to the confines of my mind. As much as I wanted to write, I had so much going on and to figure out that I felt as if I couldn't prioritize writing.
Update
It is now Friday, and I have officially finished my first year of college. We had our presentations this morning, and summer vacation had begun. It's kind of crazy that two years ago when I was looking for schools, I came across this tiny little campus. I had no expectations and all I wanted was to find a place that felt like home. I walked onto campus for the first time and immediately I felt welcomed into a family. I traveled to a couple other states, still in search for where I would spend the four years of my life. I was lost, but in that underlying abyss, there was a light. My people, my home.
It's now Saturday, and I have moved out of my home for the last nine months. It was my place and haven, filled with beautiful memories with the people I love and vulnerable moments because it felt safe. It's going to be hard to encapsulate my life and show all the appreciation I have, but I can sure try.
The second semester was a completely different experience, filled with different intentions and goals. I wanted to focus on school, work, and clubs. I learned what it was to burn yourself because you just can't do it all. As hard as I tried, six classes with 4-6 clubs, working roughly 30 hours in three to four days, and all the while trying to balance a social life, was an unfeasible goal. It started off really smoothly because I had a renewed sense of life flowing through me. My issue was that I don't know how to balance my life and priorities. I was go go go without any days off. A telltale sign was I didn't have my first day off of work, school, clubs, or anything until President's Day. I pushed myself to the limit and did not know to stop. That day I just basked and felt so relieved. It was when I started to understand the art of slow living. Slow living makes you appreciate the world around you because you notice the little things. To be loved is to be seen.
In the social aspect, I wanted to focus on meeting new people and learning about them. This year I met the most amazing people and I want to keep them in my lives forever if they'll have me. My friend group during the first semester, please know I love you and I don't think I could have had a better first semester. All the Applebee's trips and exploring ourselves and new experiences. Getting to know each other and what makes you happy and full of life has truly been a delight to my life. To shoutout my people: Kay, Mya, Connor, Colin, Caleb, Jack, Bristol, Gwen, Rileigh, Benny, Gabe, Adi, and honestly so many more).
Second semester, I got to know so many new souls, and even though it feels like we didn't have enough time, this is not a goodbye, it's just a until next time. You guys saved me, showed me what it was to be cared for and about. You hold such a special place in my heart, and it's been a wild ride. Whether it was late night games of pool or ping pong, Professor Lepley's Modern American Literature class, Student Senate meetings, the dance showcase, or even this morning, I will never forget these moments as long as I can write about you. You will never die because you have me to keep your name to live forever. To Charlie, Sadie, Emma, Jenna, Dan, Lizzie, Lila, Faith, thank you for being you. You all are so wise and considerate that it always made it easy to smile when I was around you.
Speaking of amazing people, this doesn't cover those I met through work. Multifaceted people who were so unique in each of their own little ways. As much as they told me they enjoyed my presence, when I got to work, I felt like I had a family. I have started to notice that without a family to look to, I have started to find family through the people I meet. Walking into that kitchen, people cared, and even though it was stressful, I knew people had my back. Working at Front & Main has been an experience filled with so much positive. To back of house: Liam, Chef Chris, Britney, Emma, Chef Jon, James, Andrew, Megan, Dakota, Jason, Alex, Brighton, Joseph Caleb Charles Casey, Travis, Meredith, Nick, Waverly, JPS, Taylor, Sage, Cassidy, Aaliyah, Dawn, Martina, Anika, and Candace. Thank you.
The customers I met during my stay deserve the world. It has been so fascinating getting to hear your stories and wisdom. To get advice and have people in my corner who I just happened to serve food has been a dream I never want to wake up from. You all have taught me so so much, and it's also been amazing getting to meet your furry friends. Buster, Nissie, Gus, and Piper, you pups will be remembered.
Thomas College has been such a fulfilling experience, and I would never trade my first year here for the world. The staff are absolutely amazing, ranging from maintenance to kitchen, and support. It has definitely made leaving so hard because goodbyes are so hard no matter how many times I do it. As I said in the beginning that it felt like home when I visited, it still feels like a home today. Filled with warmth and acceptance, I know I have a place to turn to if I ever need help.
I still don't think I have encapsulated all the words to describe my last nine months in monumental period of my life, but this is the best it's going to get. Remember, it's not a goodbye, just until next time. This next of my life is going to be an exciting one, and I can't wait to share my journey with everyone.
Until next time,
your hopeful stranger
11:30am
05.11.2024
Comments